My teenager is starting to drive. How can I help keep her safe on the road?

Traffic crashes are the leading cause of death for teens and young adults. More than 5,500 young people die every year in car crashes and thousands more are injured. Parents can play an important role in reducing these numbers and keeping their teens alive. Before you let your teen drive, set specific rules that must be followed.

Parent-Teen Driving Agreement

I, _______________________________ , will drive carefully and cautiously and will be courteous to other drivers, bicyclists, and pedestrians at all times.

I promise that I will obey all the rules of the road.

Always wear a seat belt and make all my passengers buckle up.
Obey all traffic lights, stop signs, other street signs, and road markings.
Stay within the speed limit and drive safely.
Never use the car to race or to try to impress others.
Never give rides to hitchhikers.
I promise that I will make sure I can stay focused on driving.

Drive with both hands on the wheel.
Never eat, drink, or use a cell phone while I drive.
Drive only when I am alert and in emotional control.
Call my parents for a ride home if I am impaired in any way that interferes with my ability to drive safely.
I promise that I will respect laws about drugs and alcohol.

Drive only when I am alcohol and drug free.
Never allow any alcohol or illegal drugs in the car.
Be a passenger only with drivers who are alcohol and drug free.
I promise that I will be a responsible driver.

Drive only when I have permission to use the car and I will not let anyone else drive the car unless I have permission.
Drive someone else’s car only if I have parental permission.
Pay for all traffic citations or parking tickets.
Complete my family responsibilities and maintain good grades at school as listed here: ____________________________________________________
Contribute to the costs of gasoline, maintenance, and insurance as listed here: ____________________________________________________
I agree to the following restrictions, but understand that these restrictions will be modified by my parents as I get more driving experience and demonstrate that I am a responsible driver.

For the next _____ months, I will not drive after ________ pm.

For the next _____ months, I will not transport more than _______ teen passengers (unless I am supervised by a responsible adult).

For the next _____ months, I won’t adjust the stereo or air conditioning/heater while the car is moving.

For the next _____ months, I will not drive in bad weather.

I understand that I am not permitted to drive to off-limit locations or on roads and highways as listed here: _______________________________________________________________________________

I agree to follow all the rules and restrictions in this contract. I understand that my parents will impose penalties (see below), including removal of my driving privileges, if I violate the contract. I also understand that my parents will allow me greater driving privileges as I become more experienced and as I demonstrate that I am always a safe and responsible driver.

Penalties for contract violations

Drove after drinking alcohol or using drugs
No driving for ______ months.

Got ticket for speeding or moving violation
No driving for ______ months.

Drove after night driving curfew
No driving for ______ weeks/months.

Drove too many passengers
No driving for ______ weeks/months.

Broke promise about seat belts (self and others)
No driving for ______ weeks/months.

Drove on a road or to an area that is off-limits
No driving for ______ weeks/months.

Signatures

Driver __________________________ Date ________________

Parent promise: I also agree to drive safely and to be an excellent role model.

Parent (or guardian) __________________________ Date ________________

Parent (or guardian) __________________________ Date ________________

Source: Parent-Teen Driving Agreement and Fact Sheet (Copyright © 2007 American Academy of Pediatrics)

• Have your child read aloud to you every night.
• Choose a quiet place, free from distractions, for your child to do his nightly reading assignments.
• As your child reads, point out spelling and sound patterns such as cat, pat, hat.
• When your child reads aloud to you and makes a mistake, point out the words she has missed and help her to read the word correctly.
• After your child has stopped to correct a word he has read, have him go back and reread the entire sentence from the beginning to make sure he understands what the sentence is saying.
• Ask your child to tell you in her own words what happened in a story.
• To check your child’s understanding of what he is reading, occasionally pause and ask your child questions about the characters and events in the story.
• Ask your child why she thinks a character acted in a certain way and ask your child to support her answer with information from the story.
• Before getting to the end of a story, ask your child what he thinks will happen next and why.

Parental communication is an art  that can be  easily mastered, so many say “what are the components of parental communication”? :

 1.  The first major component is Attention:
Attention: is the (cognitive process=”the process of thought.” ) of selectively concentrating on one aspect of the environment while ignoring other things which means giving your child your undivided attention,with no outside interferences. Paying attention to your child means full concentration on the task at hand.

  2. The second component is Listening :

Listening: To pay attention; heed To make an effort to hear something ,once again Parents to listen you must pay attention and make a concentrated effort to hear what is being  said by your child.

How important it is to take time for loving, Parental communication! For Example Some Parents  spend so much time giving exclusive attention to the TV watching other people’s lives that they have little time for their own. Hence, turning off the television set is often a necessary step toward Parental communication.Parents who shy away from communicating with their family have to pay for their negligence!

 It is important that children early on become accustomed to communicating with their parents.Otherwise, when the children are adolescents and perhaps face problems, they will not think of their parents as friends whom they can talk to.

3. The third component is Questions: 

A request for information  I susggest  using viewpoint questions, such as “What do you think?” parents can encourage their children to express their thoughts and feelings.

  What will you do if your child makes a serious mistake? That is the time when he needs kind consideration. Control your emotions while you listen to your child, try to grasp the situation, by using  Attention, listening, and viewpoint Question.

If your adolescent is unresponsive to questions, try a different approach. For example, instead of asking your daughter about her day, tell her how your day was and see if she responds. Or to discover your child’s opinion on a matter, ask questions that shift the focus away from your child. Ask her how a friend of hers feels about the topic. Then ask what advice she would give her friend.

4. The forth component is Language:

 By your words and demeanor, create “peaceful conditions” so that your  children will feel inclined to talk. Remember, you are your child’s advocate. So when discussing a matter, try not to come across as a prosecuting attorney who is out to discredit a witness in court. “A wise parent does not make such remarks as, ‘When will you grow up?’ or, ‘How many times have I told you?’”

Parental Communication  with adolescents is not an impossible task. Adjust your parenting methods according to the need,Parental Communication involves   controlling  your emotions and listen, the correction you give will more readily be accepted!

What is behind this global epidemic of childhood obesity? While genetics can be a predisposing factor, the alarming increase in obesity in recent decades appears to indicate that genes are not the only cause. Stephen O’Rahilly, professor of clinical biochemistry and medicine at Cambridge University in England, declares: “Nothing genetic explains the rise in obesity. We can’t change our genes over 30 years.”

Commenting on the causes, the Mayo Clinic, in the United States, says: “Although there are some genetic and hormonal causes of childhood obesity, most excess weight is caused by kids eating too much and exercising too little.” Two examples illustrate the changing trend in eating habits today.

First, as working parents have less time and energy to prepare meals, fast food has increasingly become the norm. Fast-food restaurants have sprung up all over the world. One study reported that nearly a third of all children in the United States aged 4 to 19 eat fast food every day. Such foods are typically high in sugar and fats and are offered in temptingly large sizes.

Second, soft drinks have replaced milk and water as the beverage of choice. For example, Mexicans spend more each year on soft drinks, particularly colas, than on the ten most basic foods put together. According to the book Overcoming Childhood Obesity, just one 20-ounce soft drink a day can result in a gain of 25 pounds in a year!

What Is the Solution?

Nutritionists do not recommend putting children on a restrictive diet, as this may compromise their growth and health. Rather, the Mayo Clinic states: “One of the best strategies to combat excess weight in your children is to improve the diet and exercise levels of your entire family.”—See the accompanying box.

Make healthful habits a family commitment. If you do, they will become a way of life for your children, carrying over into adulthood.

WHAT CAN PARENTS DO?

1. Buy and serve more fruits and vegetables than convenience foods.
2. Limit soft drinks, sweetened beverages, and high-fat sugary snack foods. Instead, offer water or low-fat milk and healthful snacks.
3. Use cooking methods that are lower in fat, such as baking, broiling, and steaming, instead of frying.
4. Serve smaller portions.
5. Avoid using food as a reward or as a bribe.
6. Do not allow children to skip breakfast. Skipping it may lead to overeating later.
7. Sit at the table to eat. Eating in front of a TV or a computer screen promotes consumption and lessens awareness of feeling full.
8. Encourage physical activity, such as bike riding, playing ball, and jumping rope.
9. Limit time spent on watching television, using the computer, and playing video games.
10. Plan active family outings, such as visiting the zoo, going swimming, or playing in the park.
11. Assign active chores to your children.
12. Set the example in healthful eating and exercise.

Sources: The National Institutes of Health and the Mayo Clinic Appeared in Awake!  March 2009

Understanding Child Behavior

It can often be difficult to understand child behavior, especially if you are a new parent. However, there are different things that you should look for when you are raising a child. There are different milestones for each age and you want to know if your child’s behavior is appropriate or if there is a need for concern. This article is going to briefly explain some of the different child behavior checklists that actually exist so that you can determine where your child is related to his or her conduct.

The first type of child behavior checklist is a behavior chart. This is often used to help you and your child identify problem behaviors and set goals to help them with more appropriate behaviors. You are going to want clear goals set so that your child knows what he or she is working towards. These things are going to be on the behavior chart and your child will be rewarded when he or she reaches a goal. This can be a wonderful tool to help with child behavior issues if it is used correctly.

Other types of child behavior charts include charts that can be used for potty training as well as for homework and chores. If you have noticed that your child is motivated by rewards then this may work well for you. When your child can see what they are working towards they are more willing to try. They want to know that there is a reason for their hard work. You can not often speak to a young child about responsibility and right or wrong. We all know that children are often self centered until they learn differently. Using the charts is a good way to help them work towards a positive goal.

Child behavior checklists are also commonly used to help a parent identify or monitor progress related to emotional issues such as anxiety or developmental issues such as communication problems. You can often find information related to what your child should and should not be doing at certain ages. Taking the time to understand your child in his or her developmental stage is very important for a parent because it can signal problems that need to be taken care of.

If you feel that your child is having difficulties expressing his or her emotions or he or she is not completing certain developmental tasks, you are going to want to talk to their doctor. Explain to them what you see, or don’t see, and express your concerns. The doctor is going to be able to guide you in the right direction to ensure that your child or the child behavior that you desire is headed in the right direction.

Information on Family Therapy

Family therapy is a type of therapy that focuses on the entire family rather than an individual person. Families will usually engage in this type of therapy when they are having difficulties getting along with each other or they have issues that need to be discussed in a safe and supportive environment.

Family therapy may be frowned upon by some people in today’s society. There is often a negative stigma that goes along with being in any type of therapeutic situation. People often have a hard time sharing their thoughts and feelings with others. Older parents may feel that there problems are no ones business. The problem with these thoughts are that they are not accurate and they create a barrier towards finding relieve and help. A therapist is often going to act as a mediator or discuss options that you have. He or she is not going to tell you what to do.

Family therapy can be used for several different situations. First of all, if your child is having a difficult time adjusting to changes in his or her life, you may want to attend family therapy rather than placing your child in therapy alone. This becomes a benefit because you can learn how to help your child through stressful situations. When you learn effective strategies to help your child, you are helping your family as well.

This type of therapy may also be good when you are facing marital difficulties and your children are involved. It may be a good way to help your child deal with a divorce or a new step-parent as well. You need to fully understand what family therapy is before you decide against it. If you have researched the topic and you are still not sure if you agree with this or not there are a few things you could do. First of all, you could talk to some people that you trust and ask them if they have ever participated in family therapy. You may find that someone you know has and they may be able to give you some positive feedback. Next, you could begin calling some professionals in your area that provide family therapy and set up a consultation with him or her. This person is going to be able to explain the process to you and help you understand the benefits of participating. It is worth the effort if you family needs the help. You would not leave a broken arm unattended. Therefore, why would you leaves your feelings and problems unsolved?

What is So Important about Family Activities?

Family activities are a wonderful way to begin bonding with your child. They want to know that you care about them and that you are interested in what they have to say and what they enjoy doing. The easiest way for you to learn about your child and express your love is to spend time with them engaged in family activities.

There are so many different types of family activities that you can engage in with your child that it would take forever to list everything here. Therefore, some simple ideas are going to be presented. The first family activity that you can engage in is simply cooking together. Everyone needs to eat so why not spend time together cooking a large meal. This is going to give you an opportunity to talk to your child about his or her day. It is also going to help your child learn the importance of eating a balanced meal and eating together as a family. This is one of the easiest family activities that you could participate in and it does not even cost any money.

The next family activity that you could consider is having a family night. You can work with your family to identify a certain night of the week that is for family members only. This is a time for you to be with each other without talking on the phone or having friends over. You can do something as simple as watching a movie. Or, you could let your children select their favorite games and play these all evening. Use this time to talk to your child and discuss any problems that he or she may be having. It is also best to discuss values and expectations when you have your child’s full attention. Therefore, use this time to do that as well.

Family vacations are another way to increase your family time. This is a time when you are not bothered by housework or the stress of your job. If you have older children you could also get them involved in helping you plan your family vacation. Ask them where they would like to go and have them help you make reservations. You could even go so far as to give your older child a budget that they need to stay within. You would be teaching life skills and responsibility while you plan this activity.

As you can see, there are several different family activities that you can engage in. You can spend time talking to your family about what things they would like to do. However, you need to remind them that these activities are for your family only. You are going to enjoy spending time with them and you are going to learn things about them that you may not have known. Give it a try and start something today.